...that's me! At least, that is how I feel now. And for those of you sans-ESV Bibles (Im sure other versions use it to), I do not mean sexual promiscuity. Thats what it means, too. But I am referring to our relationship with our Creator God, and my ability to place others (namely my husband) in His rightful place.
Right now, I am in the "woe-is-me" mood. Translation: Scott just left for another week in Orlando (5 weeks to go!); and life sucks. But, it doesn't. I KNOW God is the Creator. I KNOW God is sovereignly working all for His good, and I THINK this is a lesson for me to need Scott less than I need the Lord.
In Mark 9, Jesus is healing a boy with unclean spirits. Jesus tells the father that all things are possible for those who believe, and the father's response is "I believe; help my unbelief!" This is how I feel. I KNOW this is true:
The Lord is the everlasting God,the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary;his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint,and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary,and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;they shall mount up with wings like eagles;they shall run and not be weary;they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40)
But I need to believe that strength comes from the LORD. And I don't NEED Scott; I want Scott, and my affection for him is a Godly desire (but not a need). But my sinful heart NEEDS a Savior. And I have been given one, so I should be grateful and fall at His throne, praising my Creator for who He is, not what he can do. The simple fact is God is Holy. Period. I am not, Scott is not.
We have been reading through Hosea, prompted by my bible study on Monday nights. The book mentioned it and all the ladies and I were appalled at our constant whoredom concerning our Loving God. Hosea is commanded to marry a womoan known for her promiscuity (sexually), so that he can see God's love for his people. Hosea does so, and his life is full of his constant love for his wife who bears children that aren;t Hosea's and plays the whore with other men. Every time she comes back to Hosea, he loves her unconditionally. Sound familiar? I know my God does the same for me. Praise God that my sinful heart can be loved by the msot Holy God.
Shane said it well this morning (Thank you, Lord, for my pastor!): "despite all of our wickedness, God does not forsake us but shows mercy."
Thank you, Jesus, for your mercy towards me, a harlot who places others in your place. Thank you for your mercy when I cry, and for showing me that I need people less than you. Thank you for the strength you provide when I dont deserve it. Amen.
PS... Rigby found a new bed: mine. Its cute... but dont tell Scott. :)
Off to make a rosary for Seth...
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3 comments:
I thank God for what He is doing int your life. May His grace and mercy continue to sustain you. Love you both.
Very well said! Thanks for sharing. I am so proud of you and your walk with Christ. You make me want to be better! Love ya. See you tomorrow night. Ashlie
I am thankful to God for how he is blessing us in this situation.
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